Twinners

"Post pictures of the babies together!" Natalie says. I guess this could be for Grandma Wood too, because she is obsessed with the babies together. (see exhibit A):

Madilyn Rayne and Adrienne Sage were born 19 days apart and this is the first time we've gotten them together.

I idolized Mary growing up and it was SO fun to be pregnant together. So here's a little photodocumentary of their weekend together.

Grandpa Wood said several times, "Have you ever known two babies who were so good natured!? Do they ever cry?"

Adrie kept rolling over to Madilyn and grabbing her and she didn't seem to like it very much. Adrie definitely has the chubbier cheeks but Madilyn has the heavier lower body. It was fun to see how similar and how different they are!

SPAM

Not the meat, the email.

I just thought I'd let you all know that I have to wade through and delete approximately 350 Spam emails per day in my work email account. Talk about annoying. I come back from a weekend with almost a thousand. Multiple thousands after taking a week off.

I asked our IT guy to help me, to which he replied "Some server got ahold of our address book. Sorry, everybody's dealing with it." And so I continue to obliterate hundreds of messages about making my fat friends jealous, enhancing my love life, cheap software, and the fountain of youth that have catchy titles like "Re: Wednesday" or the worst - just "Re: " with a blank. I actually do get important emails so I have to be careful of what I delete. In the meantime, my company is paying precious money to me while I waste my time with email because they don't want to pay for a better IT system or server.

And don't even get me started on the junk voicemails. Those, unfortunately, come from within the company. "This is for the managers." "This is for anyone in training" (which is about 15 people out of 300). "Don't forget the Bath and Body fair going on..." or "The wellness program invites you..."

I'm so glad they value my time.

HELP

And any of you that have read Life of Pi get together with me because I want to know what you think about what really happened.

Mormon Romance

I just want to vent about the poor quality of writing in Mormon Romance novels (as I call them.) HOLY COW do we need to be hit in the face with the most obvious statements ever? Are Mormon readers so dense that we can't pick up on foreshadowing or double entendres or... well... anything?

Statements like "...the way he'd already begun to find his way into her heart" or "she told herself he couldn't possibly feel the same way about her" (after he's almost kissed her like five times) and basically stating the most inane, pointless phrases over and over and over. Like we didn't get the point five thoughts ago!

You know that phrase "a picture is worth a thousand words?" Well, LDS authors out there, paint us the picture with educated-sounding words and then let us draw our own conclusions. Don't slap us in the face with the meaning, and the interpretation, and re-interpretation of what that 'picture' meant in middle-school terms. Aaaaaaa.... I love writing that says the very most meaningful things in the shortest # of words possible.

I know, I should be reading something higher in quality but I'm so depressed after the tragical ending of Life of Pi that I accepted what Grandma Williams handed me to read. I'll find something a little more stimulating next.

P.S. this book also has my most pet-peeved statement ever: "I don't drink, it's against my religion." Any of you that use your religion as an excuse for not drinking need a little more substantial reason, which is welcome to include your BELIEFS.

Baby in a Box Part III

This one's for you, Mal.

And YES, this is how many diapers she has actually worn since January 1, 2007.

And NO, I didn't save the boxes for her scrapbook.

In Training

Sometimes the only thing that can keep Adrie quiet is a good candy bar.

AAA

Oh Triple A, your $49.95 annual membership fee finally came in handy.

Observe: Wednesday morning, driving at a leisurely pace on traffic-congested I-15, and my tire blows out. Remembering my driver's Ed training from 1996 I take my foot off the gas and coast to a stop, with a little gentle brake pressure thrown in. As I sat on hold with AAA Emergency Roadside Service, to my credit I did get out and pull out the spare tire and try to loosen the jack from the trunk - the jack that wouldn't budge. So when the operator finally came on the line I asked for some rescuing. Twenty minutes later a bright yellow tow truck pulls up and a burly guy with an electric lug-nut-remover-thingy whips that tire right off and pops a new one on. Free of charge. I could practially feel him tip his hat to the little lady as he drove off on his way.

Baby in a Box Part II

Surgery!

We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am and Adrie was laughing and smiling at everybody that passed. A stark contrast to all the other kids around who were already crying and yelling. I guess Thursday morning are typically pediatric, so we were reassured the staff and anesthesia people were used to handing kids. We met with the doctor, scrub nurse, and anesthesiologist. We got continual comments on how adorable Adrie was and "What a happy baby!" I couldn't resist taking a zillion pictures because she was so cute in that huge bed and blue hospital pajamas.

We ran off to McDonald's to grab breakfast and then ate it in the hospital room while we waited. The book "Life of Pi" kept me busy and Kurt watched the news about Vioxx and other drugs the FDA is trying to approve again. After about an hour they brought her back to us... whimpering a little, but not screaming like the other kids around us. She is definitely a lot bigger than she was as a newborn, as those hospital blankets just didn't cut it in trying to bundle her up and keep her arms out of her face! She cried a little but for the most part watched Disney Cartoons while we hung out for recovery. Our nurse kept coming in and every time she left she'd say, "I don't want to leave her, she's just so cute and so good!"

Here's an example of her watching cartoons on the tv...

Her eye will probably swell shut in the next day and stay that way for a couple of days, and then we won't see the full result of where her eyelid will stay for about three weeks.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

The Best Day Ever(n't)

I kept thinking this day should've happened to Natalie because she could write it a lot more hilariously than I can. But it's a greatly embarassing story nonetheless.

So off I truck to the doctor's office at 8 am after a miserable night, hoping to find an Urgent Care... being that it's an ordinary Tuesday morning, no such luck. The onry receptionist says they do have a new patient appointment at 10:10 am... so I returned to my bed for another hour and a half , f bbvgc fg`f v.i.o `WSZA - side note from Adrie there - and at 10:10 I go to the doctor. Sure enough, my strep test was positive and I could choose between a shot that works in 24 hours or amoxicillin pills that won't work for 48. Being that I am ready to DIE - aches, pains, fever, swollen throat - I choose the shot.

Well, naive me didn't know that this penicillin shot goes in your behind. And the lovely nurse was smart enough to tell me, "this stuff is about as thick as toothpaste and there's a LOT of it, so it's going to hurt." *shudder* And then I could feel the lump of toothepaste-like-bacteria-killer sitting in my rump. I made it to the counter and paid my copay before I started losing vision. I knelt down at the receptionist's counter in an effort to save energy, but soon I lost it all and the next thing I know I'm being helped into a wheelchair. They wheel me back to an office, and as soon as the nurse leaves I frantically search for a garbage can - there wasn't one - before calling out to the receptionist - "do you have a garbage can!?" and promptly throwing up. One juicebox, an ice pack, twenty minutes of lying down and my dignity later, they let me leave and now I'm hanging out at home in a permanent blue mask to keep from breathing on Adrie.

The King is Here

I just wanted to say that again, the world's dumbest show came through for me. Oh king of Queens, your silly antics are enough to keep me mildly entertained when life is in the dumps.

Moved In! (Sorta)

We're In! Well... sort of. Because things got delayed by a day I had to reschedule the carpet cleaning, so they can't come until Monday morning. So we're moved into the garage, the bathrooms, the tile kitchen, and almost nothing on the carpet. Except our new TV, or Kurt's "I-finished-my-two-classes-on-time-hallelujah" present to himself.

It's been nice to have a room where we can put Adrie by herself. The few nights she slept in her play pen in the same room with us she got up repeatedly... spent hours talking in the night... and in general, was a royal pest. I don't know how parents keep their kids in bed with them - she is way too distracted by us even being in the same room! One night at Grandma Williams I finally pulled her into bed with me around 5:30 in the morning, hoping she'd settle down and be quiet. Yeah, right. She was so excited to be by me that as I tried to sleep she was pulling my hair, pawing me with her legs, poking her fingers in my ears, nose, and eyes, and trying to wiggle her body up over me... in general using me as a play gym. After about 180 seconds of this behavior she went back to her own bed.

Model Baby

Okay, Proud Mom here just posting pics of who I biasedly think is the best baby in the world. I can't resist. She's having fun at great-Grandma Wood's house with all the creative toys that get tossed her way.

The Five Best Things to Say When you Get Caught Sleeping at Work

Alright, this made my whole day - and people I forwarded it to had a good laugh with me. So here's a little entertainment for your day.

FIVE BEST things to say when you get caught Sleeping at Work (or school...)
5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."