I am your typical NIMBY ("not in my back yard") -
far too un-opinionated on issues that don't directly affect me. Prop 8 and the definition of marriage has had me thinking long and hard, however. Rather than answer each of your insightful blogs with scattered comments here and there, I would like to delineate the outline of my thoughts. I will keep it as brief and interesting as possible -
despite my 4 pages of notes and scribbles I've kept in preparation for explaining myself.
I bring a slightly unique LDS perspective because half of the clients I work with are lesbian or bisexual. And I love them dearly.
#1 - We need more thoughtful, heartfelt, and intelligent reasons for supporting traditional marriage that go beyond homophobia, blind obedience, or blind ignorance. As well-meaning as many wonderful church members are, I often wonder who is hurting more than helping.
#2 - Whoever made this a plight about "Equal Rights" was brilliant. Brilliant. We are a generation so afraid of being seen as un-politically correct that we cower to think of rocking the boat. Anything in the name of "Equal Rights" blindly gets a cloak of respect.
Defining marriage as between man and woman is not taking away any right of our gay and lesbian compatriots. We are not blocking their way to jobs, schooling housing, even adoptions. In California and other places, Civil Unions already offer the same benefits. Now, if this were a proposition about removing or limiting the inalienable rights of homosexuals, I would take issue. But it's not. This issue has been twisted to look that way so it can ride the coattails of the civil rights movement.
#3 - There is a general
Ideal Pattern for a family. Not everyone fits it. (
Hello, I myself don't fit it.) But I still believe it. If we start altering what the ideal is supposed to look like, we are only a few generations away from losing it altogether. An amazing talk on this subject is found
here.
I strongly suggest you read it, ponder it, teach it to your families.
I may deviate from many staunch LDS folk when I say that my view of God is far more merciful than we often speak of. He knows the thoughts, intents, and efforts expended by our brothers and sisters who struggle with homosexual attractions. I don't believe that everyone engaged in this lifestyle is of the devil, or whatever opponents accuse us of saying. Homosexuals may choose to create families based on their interpretation of the ideal pattern - but still, it's their own personal spin-off of an ideal pattern. Individual cases? Not ours to judge. But giving public sanction to something that may or may not be the 'right' path for a few choice folk is not our place, either.
#4 - Redefining the meaning of the word Marriage is a giant step toward redefining the social order. Think of crazy high school English books you read like "The Giver" or "1984" and their strange definitions of 'family'. We are breaching a slippery slope of governmental redefinitions and where does it stop? I know some of you are rolling your eyes, but this is the precise subject I spent 4 months researching and writing about in Washington DC on the idea of redefining the meaning of Gender. Redefining words is planting seeds for a New World Order. I am not a conspiracy theorist stating someone specific is taking over, just that we are potentially on the path to a radically different future.
#5 - Redefining marriage and family
(cohabitation - single parent families - etc.) during the last century has only
wreaked havoc on the social order thus far. You can trace the rise in crime, gang activity, school dropouts, increased drug use, and more directly back to the disintegration of the family.
In the interest of making my opinions short and sweet I am not referencing sources - but if this topic truly interests you, start here to see the newest research D.C. think tanks are doing on this subject. We are an arrogant generation to think that we know better. We've only messed things up sofar, and are risking it getting even worse.
#6 - When we succumb to the demands of one radical interest group, we have breached the slippery slope of bowing to all. Do we add a drug category to the food guide pyramid because research shows that 40% of Americans are on either prescription or illegal drugs and can't survive a day without them? In high school health class do we teach what a great stress reliever nicotine is? Can we create policy that allows mistresses and their illegitimate children to be put on dad's family's health plan? Or another 2 generations from now will we relax laws surrounding pedophelia because we've decided maybe it isn't so bad? Slippery slope. Where does it stop?
#7 - Making homosexuality part of mainstream society only perpetuates its growth. Genetic predispositions are one thing, but many teens now think that they "choose" their sexual orientation. Experimentation in their formative years is messing with their heads. I know; I work with this issue every day with girls I love. When raising my own children - who I will teach to unconditionally love every person, junkie, gay, dropout, whatever - helping them find their own true course will be much safer when certain things are kept off limits, or at least taboo. That is a role of society - to have social norms that perpetuate what's for the good of the general whole. Somehow that's getting lost in this "it's my right" to feel-good generation. (see #5 for the outcome of this arrogant generation.)
#8 - Faith. I would be arrogant myself if I didn't freely say that I do believe marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. Some argue that the church will change its position right along with the pressure of the times. I don't really think so - but even if they did, I have learned through experience that the safest and truest course that also provides the most happiness is to follow God's plan, which is led through his prophets and the church today. I don't obey blindly, I have answers for myself that are strongly witnessed by the spirit of truth. But I have faith that God has a plan for us and that marriage, between man and woman, is the foundation of that plan.
