Yom Kippur

Sundown tonight began Yom Kippur - which is the Day of Atonement. I know you could Wikipedia the definition (as Josh is right now for me) but I just want to share my thoughts as I've anticipated this day.

Day of Atonement = we're celebrating the atonement of a Messiah, who will be the Hope of Israel, our Redeemer, our Savior. I am fascinated to think of the hundreds of generations of wise and spiritual people who have celebrated this day in ancitipation of the Messiah who will save us all. I am honoring this holiday to feel tied to those who have gone before me - the House of Israel, into which I have been adopted a member by the covenants I've made. I feel such reverence for these ancestors.

What makes this Day of Atonement even more inspiring to me is the fact that I know the Savior of the world has already come - has already atoned for not only my sins, but my weaknesses, my pains, my trials. Words can't express the emotion of gratitude I feel to be tied to generations that have waited for Him, and to be living with the knowledge that He has come and we are saved already. I feel such kinship to the Jewish people who are faithfully honoring the Atonement on this day - we may differ in the who/what/when, but together we worship and honor the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, who will atone for us all.

Rosh Hashanah

I was honored to celebrate the Jewish New Year with one of my girls today. It was a very spiritual moment for me.

She explained the symbolism of eating apples & honey to honor the sweet things of life, for this day is the happiest day on the Jewish calendar - a time of new beginnings. We sat by the Provo River and tossed bread crumbs to symbolize the casting off of sin. It was a very moving experience to sit in the beautiful sunshine and watch the water carry away the yeasted bread - symbol of all that is spoiled in my soul. I can't help but love the symbolism in the Jewish traditions.

Rosh Hashanah is the happiest day, and comes before Yom Kippur - the day of Atonement. I found it properly fitting that with the new year we try to be better than before and make amends for what we can in preparation for the coming atonement.

Even before today, I have been thinking a lot about my role as a member of the House of Israel. At our roots, these beautiful Jewish traditions are ours, too. It was a memorable day, and again, I feel honored to have this experience of imagining what it was like to wait and watch for the coming Messiah.

How blessed I feel to have the knowledge that He came, and He Lives.

Why I Obey

I really enjoy just being with my family and others I love. Seriously, sitting around enjoying each other in deep, connecting conversations and hang-out time is amazing. It's my favorite thing to do.

Someday I'm going to have the most marvelous vacation home. It's going to be large, spacious, open, and every room will be a suite with its own sitting room and glorious bathroom. The back porch will open right up to silky white sand and a view of the setting sun. I'll have every toy known to man - waverunners, snowmobiles, boats, and more. I'll have a kitchen stocked full of food (and dessert ingredients!). I'll have a cupboard of spare cash so you can grab a handful when you're heading into town, and help yourself to money for whatever you need that my dream home can't provide.

Wouldn't this be the most peaceful and beautiful setting imaginable? I'd love to open my doors wide to any of you who want to come visit and stay with me for awhile.

Who can I safely open my doors to? Who would YOU invite to your perfect getaway? With a million dollars cash in the kitchen cupboard, up for the taking?

I'd like to invite those of you I trust. Those of you who've proven to me that you'll use wisely what I provide, and listen when I simply say "Please clean up after yourself." You might not understand how OCD I am about having a clean home, but you do it anyway because you respect me and want me to be happy, for us to be happy together in this perfect setting. I'd love to open up my spare cash cupboard to you because you've proven that even though a million dollars is at your fingertips, you'll only use what you need.

That's why I obey. So I can be invited to a Home on High and peacefully live in a beautiful setting where I may not understand or agree with all of the "rules" but I can peacefully relax in happiness with those I love, because I've proven that I respect and honor the priveleges offered to me.

Remember the Sabbath Day, to Keep it Holy

My heart is so full and I feel to share a realization I had this weekend. Those of you who read for wit and entertainment, this might not be the post for you.

For the first time in my adult life I really looked forward to the adult session of stake conference (... okay, for the first time in my life I actually attended an adult session!), and made special effort to get to the Sunday session also (probably another first in awhile). What a powerful outpouring of the Spirit! I know it helps that I'm prepared.

There are a multitude of things I'd love to discuss, but the most powerful one is this:

The Sabbath Day was set aside, consecrated, even sanctified, by the Lord.

When you think about things that are consecrated and sanctified, or even things that are simply sacred to us (formal or not), they are not something we would toss about casually and set aside with ease when it suits our immediate purpose. The speaker told an engaging story about being hungry for spaghetti, only to find there was no oil in the house. His verbal imagery of grabbing the consecrated oil and firing up the skillet was a horror to all in the audience and really drove the point home - how often do we treat so casually our consecrated Sabbath Day?

To keep a Sabbath Day sanctified implies a lot more than a list of dos/don'ts. I get caught up in the don'ts - I try not to shop, listen to regular music, do intense recreation, etc. But my heart has not been in the place of understanding the meaning behind the fact that the Sabbath Day is a gift to our spirits. A Gift. A gift that we all too often see as an inconvenience, or maybe just a vacation.

So I'm going to try a lot harder to use my Sunday as a "Day of Rejuvenation" - not just a "Day of Rest." That last post I wrote about having the Spirit close when I am in the proper mindset goes hand-in-hand with this one. To think - 1/7th of a week focused on rejuvenating things spiritual and remembering my purpose could change my entire life.

I feel powerfully that we talk of these things far less than we should.

Waxing Thoughtful

It's been awhile since I wrote of something spiritual on here. (I'm going to do it in my own Mormon verbage rather than trying to make it politically correct. Any readers not in this camp, just plug in your own words and search for my meaning.)

I've been pondering the fluctuation in my life between feeling spiritually on top of the world and in-tune vs. and other days/times where I have to try a lot harder to feel out that same guidance.

Long story short, it's directly tied to the energy, effort, and time I put into my own spiritual studies.

Of note: Spiritual studies includes the Bible, Book of Mormon, D&C & Pearl of Great Price, but also the Ensign, Conference issues of the Ensign, Preach My Gospel, and sometimes just spiritual journal writing about a topic.

Not gonna lie, part of me has been battling with how "unfair" it is that a loving Father in Heaven wouldn't just give us an equal portion of the Spirit when we really want it. If I'm tired, busy, etc. and don't have time to devote to studies like I should, why should I be "penalized" with loss of the Spirit?

I found the answer.

It's not the Spirit that moves, it's ME.

I need to study to keep MY perspective where it should be. I need an intense daily experience to keep my heart soft and my desire to do His will, not my own. In this crazy busy life I lead, when I don't take that time of spiritual rejuvenation, I'm not open to what the Spirit has to teach me or prompt me, and I'm not sensitive enough to feel its comfort.

I can't feel deeply or feel spiritually reminded and rejuvenated from reading a few obligatory verses of scripture before turning in for the night. Someone said in church a few weeks ago "Maybe it's suggested to read for thirty minutes, because for the first ten you're not really 'there' yet." I think this is the wisest thing I've heard all month.

So, in the words of Adrie (mimicking that girly-prince the Beast turns into at the end):

"It's me! It's me!"