It's been awhile since I wrote of something spiritual on here. (I'm going to do it in my own Mormon verbage rather than trying to make it politically correct. Any readers not in this camp, just plug in your own words and search for my meaning.)
I've been pondering the fluctuation in my life between feeling spiritually on top of the world and in-tune vs. and other days/times where I have to try a lot harder to feel out that same guidance.
Long story short, it's directly tied to the energy, effort, and time I put into my own spiritual studies.
Of note: Spiritual studies includes the Bible, Book of Mormon, D&C & Pearl of Great Price, but also the Ensign, Conference issues of the Ensign, Preach My Gospel, and sometimes just spiritual journal writing about a topic.
Not gonna lie, part of me has been battling with how "unfair" it is that a loving Father in Heaven wouldn't just give us an equal portion of the Spirit when we really want it. If I'm tired, busy, etc. and don't have time to devote to studies like I should, why should I be "penalized" with loss of the Spirit?
I found the answer.
It's not the Spirit that moves, it's ME.
I need to study to keep MY perspective where it should be. I need an intense daily experience to keep my heart soft and my desire to do His will, not my own. In this crazy busy life I lead, when I don't take that time of spiritual rejuvenation, I'm not open to what the Spirit has to teach me or prompt me, and I'm not sensitive enough to feel its comfort.
I can't feel deeply or feel spiritually reminded and rejuvenated from reading a few obligatory verses of scripture before turning in for the night. Someone said in church a few weeks ago "Maybe it's suggested to read for thirty minutes, because for the first ten you're not really 'there' yet." I think this is the wisest thing I've heard all month.
So, in the words of Adrie (mimicking that girly-prince the Beast turns into at the end):
"It's me! It's me!"
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3 comments:
Funny....i just barely finished writing about a very similar topic in my journal. I am right there with you. It is hard to find the balance, but I guess we just have to remember that if we do our part (the spiritual studies) then somehow, we will find the time for the other things in our life that are most important (which, like you said, are not always the things we want or think we need to do, but the things the Lord wants us to be doing.) Anyway, so funny that we were thinking about the same thing tonight.
Loved this post...
I learned this same truth when I studied about "holding to the rod"--same concept. I tend to hug the rod at times and then barely touch it with my fingertips at others. Though my path may still be in the same direction, the further my distance from "the rod" the rockier the road.
You could use this blog as a RS lesson...:) I'd even come! :)
thanks for the insight...you're the best! I so appreciate your sharing. ANd I agree!
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